So here it is

      I'm going to write everything that comes to mind on the topic thats been on my heart. I felt that my relationship with God wasn't what it should be.  Here's my story.
     I was at the Social Security Office and while I was waiting a woman came, sat down, and left.  After that another woman came, sat down, and we waited together. We didn't as much as exchange a smile, or eye contract for that matter but I was thinking about her.
 "do you know who Jesus Christ is?"...
 "Have you heard the name Jesus Christ?" ...
"Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to know a little about who God is." ...
I played out the conversation about fifteen times in my head.
"I should ask her..." I thought.  It was dead quiet in the room as we all waited.
"I'd ask her if I was going to be the only noise in the room." I thought.  No sooner did papers start to ruffle, clicks of pens, people walking in and out, small conversations start all spontaneously.  It was loud, I could have started up a conversation with this women so that it would only be us who heard. After all I didn't want to look like some religious freak rambling on trying to get every one to "convert."  I knew exactly what I had to do and I knew exactly how to do it. But I sat.  I pretended like I didn't notice the silence disappear like a thin vapor among the wind in the instant I suggested that I'd do this thing.
     It was my turn. I did what I came there for and I left. I was utterly convicted. I was defeated.
     the relationship I sought was one of communication.  I have been wanted to hear God's voice in my life. Directing me and guiding me. There it was, so plainly available in front of me.  The problem was me.  I didn't like what I heard so I ignored it.
"She might already know about you, then the conversation would be over after I asked. It would be awkward."
"She could ask me something I didn't know the answer to, and wouldn't I look like a fool."
His voice was there, I heard it, it's what I've been wanting. I ignored it. Never before had I been so compelled to share the word with anyone.  This time I failed. There might be a next time, and if there is, I hope I listen. I prayed about this relationship, God delivered. I said, "if only no one would hear us" and the room got louder. I knew I failed, but God still loves me. I don't agree with that but it's not my choice.  I wish that I can encourage you to slow down and try to listen to the voice of God, because when followed great blessings proceed thereafter. I wish I could have done what I needed to do.  Now I can only pray that the Gospel reaches her. So, perhaps you'd pray with me for us to open our hearts and ears to what God has for us it's worth it.

being back home.

     I recently got a change to skip town and head back home to Willows.  Unfortunately Luke wasn't able to come because he was working so it's just me here. I was originally planning on only staying for a few nights but the plane tickets I planned on purchasing were about three hundred plus dollars for an hour drive to Burbank and another hour and forty five minutes to Sacramento, not to mention the forty five minute flight. I figured if I'm going to pay all that money I should stay in town a little longer. It was supposed to be one week.  That of course didn't change the price of the tickets (when I hate flying anyway) but luckily I knew some one who was driving to Willows.  I was able to catch a ride with her, all seven hours of it, hoping to listen to the lectures that I'm behind on for class.  They ended up putting me to sleep pretty quickly but that just made the drive shorter!
     Eventually I made it to Willows said hi to my parents scooted off to Starbucks with a few people and found sixteen billion other people I was happy to see. My dad taught me to drive a stick shift.  That was an adventure. I killed it at least twice.  I'm sure that in an emergency, I'll be able to almost make it to the destination.  Which is closer than "out of the parking lot" where I no doubt would have been had I not received any training at all.
     I finally put some music on my Ipod, but it's all really old CDs that I have had since eight grade probably. Most of it anyway.  I'm cheap and I don't want to buy new music yet.  I've figured out how to put my lectures on it though, so I'd say that's a victory for the technologically impaired.
     Ah, I made it to church yesterday.  Saw a lot of friends, talked to a lot of people.  Only one person thought that me and Luke were "taking a break" Which is a lot less that I thought it would be!  We've only been married three months how much could go wrong!  Things are amazing! Not just because he got me the Ipod either.  It's the thirteen hour days, six days a week he puts in for us. Wait...or to get away from me!!! Nah, probably not that.  Things are amazing because he's just so, in tune with God and his Will for us.  If it was up to me I would have wanted to stay in Willows our entire lives but because he heard the voice of God, we're all the way across the state, going to great churches and growing in the Lord and growing in each other.  If Luke ever reads this then, "thanks for bein you!"  He's not going to so I'll just tell him later.
     Let's see... Jen came from Sac and brought with her homemade strawberry jam. Oh. My. Goodness. It's literally the most delicious jam I have ever had.  I'm never going to buy store brand jams every again.  As long as she wants to make me jam that is.  Even then I'd never want to go back.   Her and Joey brought the Kinect down and they all played whatever that dancing game is, they all rock at it too! Watching my parents play guitar hero was one thing but my mom owns at dancing to poker face.
     Oh, we all went to Casa Ramos too.  I haven't had Mexican food in forever, so it was fun.  I ended up getting salsa all over my shoes and my pants, courtesy of my father.
     So that's about it so far, besides staying a night over at one of my friends houses. We were instantly tired after watching The Nanny. terrible show. THE END

It never ends!

     So they never showed up to fix my ceiling.  So now I have an ugly ceiling.  They better not come today or else I'm going to be very irritated.  I'm not even going to be home in a few more hours.  Which will probably give them an excuse to say "we showed up but you weren't home."  Well, if you would have came when you said you would we wouldn't be having this hypothetical conversation now would we.  *sigh* anyway.
     Ipods.  Luke ended up getting me one for Valentines day, works great, I just having put any music on it yet.  Every time I think about putting my old CD's on I think about all the home work I need to catch up on and indirectly, the chores I need to finish.  Next semester, in order to get the thousand dollar scholarship i need to take twelve credits, but because I took all of the three credit classes at once I now have all of these two and one credit classes.  So now I have to take six classes. So that'll keep me on this couch for the rest of eternity.
      It wouldn't be so hard to finish the classes if I didn't have to take notes.  Yeah the lectures are two hours long and I only need to take two pages, but when they talk about the same thing for a half an hour, not giving any information, but stories that he's heard about it, it makes it difficult to take notes.  Just recently it was about homosexuality.  I agreed with what he was saying, but he kept talking in circles, AND this wasn't even the first time he mentioned it, he talked for fifteen minutes about it LAST class lecture. So i try to skip forward to get to another point but all that does is cut out the three noteworthy things he says about it in that long span of talking. I mean, Luckily this class only has twelve lectures to listen to, the other one had fourteen. so... THE END!

Blog BLOG blob

 I find it sad that this blog has become about my cats....but Raven was being EXTRA silly today

I casually look over, and there she is. Being a ninja kitty. I think, she didn't realize that her black fur stood out...I mean it's a white laundry basket.  Funny story though she usually lays on black things, like our black blankets, or the chairs.  I guess she just slipped this time.

I had to get a closer look. by the way, see that water dispenser in the background? They knocked it over this morning. It's ok though because it was empty!

Raven the panther, stalking her pray, which at this time I think was probably Jamima, or my hair tie. What a BEAST!

She thinks she's invisible. 

Yeah, I found you Raven. :)

     Anyway!  I'm getting my ceiling fixed today finally. "woohoo!"  It's looked like THIS for quite some time now. 

Those holes at one time gushed with yellow, dirty water. At one point we had like seven ice chest (Which, I'm not even sure how we even acquired that many) filling up with water.  What did they do about it?  Easy, they waited till the rainy season was over and said that they fixed the roof.  "the leaks stopped didn't they?" Yeeeaaahh, not because of anything you did. :)

crack... But I talked to them yesterday, and they did say they were sending some on down which is great, they are very nice people. Just a little lazy is all.  This is just kind of an eye sore. And if mold gets in here that'll be terrible for Lucas because he's got those allergies and junk.  He can't exactly work if he's hospitalized.  I told the maintenance men that and they seemed to understand.  Again, nice guys, it's just they haven't exactly gotten around to my neck of the woods. 

Everything that is discolored is water damage. I sure hope we don't have to pay for this.  

I should probably do dishes.  Gotta keep this cute little apartment looking nice!  You know, in general, this place is kinda nice, besides the sirens and the water damage and the barking dogs I feel pretty blessed to live here :D

Also, I think I just looked at my Valentines day present...It came in the mail under Lukes name and  usually I don't open his mail, but it was a package and I kinda did it absentmindedly. So....I think I might try to find some tape!

The next Blog!

     Good day!!!  New things that are going on... hmmm....  Well I bought a new hair dryer and I'm LOVING it.  My hair's all full and bouncy.  I dunno, I don't care if I'm inside almost the whole day with no one around, it's nice looking nice.  Also, I made a new little bear. His name is Captain.    

He's just too cute to ... :) ... bear :D  I literally giggled the entire time when making him.  I don't mean to be proud or anything,  because when I crochet stuff I never imagine that they will be any good.  But out popped this little guy.  I couldn't be happier about him.
     But in other news! Lucas I'm pregnant!  :D :D
     No I'm just kidding, but he never reads my blogs so even if I did say it it'd never get to him haha.  If this was my only means of communicating this to him he wouldn't find out that I was going to have a kid until I came home from the hospital. Whadda punk.  Speaking of unborn babies though I got the opportunity to make a Yoshi for a friends soon to be son.  It's green this time and way cuter than the red one in my opinion.  I'm glad I could be apart of that though.   Nice of him to ask.
      I should probably get around to doing dishes, since I haven't done them in about three days.  But really, it's like only one day because we ate out two nights in a row! I think that counts. If it didn't before it does now.
     What else.... Oh! There was a robbery in progress in the apartment below us.  That was pretty exciting.  No one got hurt, except I think the robber did, but he had it coming to him.   So...Little more exciting than Willows in that manner.  Since I can't really top a robbery in progress I guess I'll end this blog riiiiiiiight -------> here.

Dreaming of the World.

had the weirdest dream about the end of the world. We were in a huge space ship that crash landed to the earth that was about to be destroyed.  When we crashed there was a group of about six of us.  We had to find these different type of sandbags? that turned out to be my ankle weights. when you broke them open something big happened. We were trying to find the one that dealt with restarting the day so we can get everything together. At one point Luke and I got separated. So then my dream became about finding him, while still the earth was dying.  Leaves were losing it's color, buildings were crumbling... That sort of thing.  I kept praying, "Forgive them for they know not what they do."  strangest thing.  So then I learned that we all  needed to come together, and find every one else from the crash that was hiding. So we went to this mall and saw every one in the closed down stores and convinced them to come out and hold hands while the last moments of earth took place.  These were people from my church, from high school, and some people even from The Office. So we got together and held hands, and we heard terribly, loud noises that were the groans coming from the earth and the sky. I was saying the prayer again and a few others asked for forgiveness too.  Then another big noise.  The end was near. Gears changed, and we went back in time, before the gathering.  We were running to find that "restart sandbag" Another guy was in our group who was apparently a war vet.  On the way he talked about these areas he past and his friend who was in war with him. Eventually it appeared we found the sand bag ankle weight and sliced it open waiting for something to happen but it didn't.  We solemnly gathered again knowing that this was really the end.  I then remembered that I couldn't find Lucas so I got up and started running as fast as I can through the crowds of people looking for him.  On the way I was telling people that I loved them because God loved me. I saw my parents and gave them a hug, my sister, my brother, some of my old friends.  Then I finally find Lucas and then we notice that the groaning have stopped.  We look at the plants and they are gaining life.  God started healing the world it seemed. We all celebrated by cheering and hugging one another.

Now there were some parts of this dream that i'm not sure when they took place.  So here those are.

We were at the Skate park in Willows, in class with teachers from my Junior High days. I was with Luke and my friend Stephenie who kept making my laugh, distracting the class.  The teachers warned me to keep quiet but then some other noise started happening and I got blamed for it unfairly.  I don't really remember the rest but I stormed out all majestically knowing what they did was wrong .

In another part I was still in Willows walking on this "rout" I used to walk every few days for a while.  But there was this one tree that I always passed that was dead now.  So that's when noticed that the world was ending I guess.

One of the weirdest parts was when this monster that was similar to an Ork from Lord of the Rings was roaming around silently, causing destruction. I them saw him in this huge cave on a hill with three or four others of this kind. They were standing over this open pit of lava and steam and he said, "We need to open the gates of hell tonight!"  He was their leader I'm guessing.

Last thing, I was some where I didn't recognize. Some huge field with old trucks and horses. That's all I remember from that part.

Anyway that's the last of my dream. Very peculiar.  Thought I'd be interesting to share it.

Jelly belly Beans

   I love Jelly Belly Beans. There isn't a better candy that's made right? RIGHT!  I only have one problem with these wonderful beans of deliciousness...and it's this: Buttered Popcorn, Cappuccino, Caramel Corn, Chocolate pudding, cinnamon, sizzling cinnamon, Top Banana and...the biggest part of the problem...BLACK LICORICE!!!  It's not that these flavors are bad, (excluding black licorice and puttered popcorn) It's just... call me jelly bean-ist, but they don't exactly fit in with the other flavors...I mean, Watermelon being the best EVER makes since mixing company with Kiwi and berry blue.  They have the same tone of sweetness, if you will. Even soft flavors like French Vanilla, coconut, A&W cream soda and bubble gum can be equally yoked with the more sour flavors to counteract the unique qualities that make your face scrunch up.  Black Licorice has no business even being a jelly bean.

    Luke bought me this giant tub of Jelly beans, which I've been making small dints in from time to time.  But, it's a communal bowl, I can't very well pluck every black bean from the bunch... Besides the black ones look like the dark purple, wild blackberry jelly beans which are pretty up there in the goodness scale. 

     And what's the deal with Tutti-Fruitti... I feel like if I just grabbed a random handful of beans and ate them at once then I'd be the same...not that delicious. I dunno. it's not my favorite but I'm not going to dock it from the list...it's just probably at the bottom.

He's my top five by the way:

1. Watermelon

2. Blue Berry

3. French Vanilla

4. A&W cream soda

5. Pomegranate

By the way I've only found like six good watermelon jelly beans in this batch...come on. D:<

Do it yourself!!!

     I had a nice topic for today that I was thinking about all last night.  Unfortunately I can't remember what it is, so now I guess I'm writing about something slightly less interesting.  Actually, I'm nearing the end of my crocheted Yoshi.

I just need to finish the belly and the eyes. This is one of my favorite projects that I've ever almost done.  Next I'm going to either make the Blue Yoshi with wings, or a Giant Panda. :D  Maybe I'll make a whole set of the Four Yellow, Red, Blue and Green, How cute would that be!!!  


In other news I've started sewing together an over the shoulder tote bag.  it's about 11 and a half by sixteen and a half and it's basically just bits of different colored handkerchief all cut and glued on to some old blue jean that are now my new shorts!  I'd say thats a win-win situation.

Dreams

     Since when does it take an actually hang glider to fly in dreams?  I woke up devastated this morning when I realized that I had to use something other than my own body to sore through the sky of my home town. Don't get me wrong though, it was still pretty unrealistic, which made it awesome! But I was like four feet off the ground the whole time. But it's just not the same, you know? I loved having those dreams where all you needed to do is stretch out your arms and away you went!

      I have these super detailed dreams all the time, ever since I can remember.  So detailed in fact that I could tell you all about the last few dreams that I had, and actually ones I've had when I was a kid.  For instance, I remember this one dream with near-perfect clarity.

      I was probably about seven years old, I had this night gown on that I remember was always static-y, you know, the kind of Pajamas where you stayed up to roll around in bed for a few minutes just to see the little white sparks? Maybe that was just me. Anyway!  Back to the dream: I remember being at the edge of the stairs, sticking my arms out, and jumping down.  Luckily I acquired the power of flight before I hurt myself! I flew out of the house and down the right side of my house, I remember it was night time in this dream, and the town was overrun by pirates that looked like one specific pirate from the movie "Hook."

       My husband thinks I'm making it all up just for the sake of conversation, but then again Luke hardly ever has dreams, and in them, he doesn't talk.  All dreamers are different.  I love this fact.  I love hearing about other peoples dreams, it's so interesting how the mind works differently with different people.  This lady back at home dreams in black and white, how crazy!  Another person I know dreams with no sound at all.  This last dream I had was about buying sausage at a Best Buy that doubled as a tattoo place.  I wanted to get a tattoo with Lucas....anyway, I explained this dream to Luke and Wes and of course, they didn't believe me.  That's alright though I'm entertained with or without their belief.  These dreams are awesome.  Most of the time I can do things I haven't done since I was a kid, in great detail!  So be jealous! And tell me about your dreams.

    

Number one!

So I was encouraged to start a blog by one of my good friends who also started a blog, upon creating a profile and clicking 'create new' I realized I had nothing to write about.  I sent a text message his way for a 'starter' and his reply was nothing...short, of a short joke.  Punk. Being 5'3 was often a conversation starter with my friends.  I don't even think it's that short! I suppose compared to my husbands 6'1 stature...I dunno I look like a midget. Which coincidentally used to be my sisters nick name for me which didn't make since because I'm an inch taller than her and two years younger.

       So rereading all this I sense this informal writing style that's making me cringe.  I need to read more books.  Currently though I'm fighting off two cats who wont leave me alone!  They insist that I'm their jungle gym. Normally I think it's cute (when they don't crawl on my face, getting their fur up my nose) but I'm kind of in the middle of something!!!  Here come the sandpaper kisses from Jamima... I swear I think she thinks she's a puppy.

      Anyway,  when I was younger I loved to write.  I wrote poetry that didn't make since, wrote songs that never were put to music, journal entires that lasted about a month at a time. Every time I wrote though, I felt like I was figuring myself out. I put writing on hold because my life got busy, getting engaged, planning a wedding, attending. Honeymooning all the way in Maine. (awesome by the way!) Then moving all the way to Palmdale where I quickly became the minority, that is, white female.  But thats ok I've got a giant East Indian to protect me! So now I'm able to write again, because things have settled down. My adventures so far consist of what me and another friend established as the five C's. Cleaning, Cooking, Class work, Crocheting, and Cats. I love every minute of it though. I'm truly blessed with my situation and my husband Lucas.  We have a lot of fun together, I'm glad I was able to marry my best friend.  So, thats a wrap for today I think. Until next time!